A Sad But True Tale of Karma Involving a Little Girl, a Toothbrush, and Barbie
My daughter is three. She doesn’t know about princesses and barbies. We’ve shielded her. On purpose. We tell her that the princesses on her underwear are ladies. The princesses in books too. And the...
View ArticleCheating at Candyland –> A Childhood of Illegality –> Full Fledged White...
I was the yellow guy. She was the red guy. She went first. She drew double red. I drew double red. Wow! We both drew double red. Funny, huh? I drew orange. Your favorite color, Dad! Yeah, it is. She …...
View ArticleFine, Don’t Read, See If I Care. . .
Like any other writer, I just wanna be read. That’s why I started this blog in the first place – so people would read my words. So people would gawk in utter amazement at the ideas I was somehow able …...
View ArticleLook at Me, I’m So Versatile
<– See that picture there? The one the arrow’s pointing at? That picture describes me. I’m one versatile son of a bitch. I can write about kids, I can write about writing, I can write about social...
View ArticleFor God’s Sake, Man, Be Rational
One month shy of my twins’ fourth birthday and I can say w/ confidence that I have lived through eleven-twelfths of the most irrational year of my life – or their lives, to be more precise. I recall w/...
View ArticleRiding the Rails Vs. Manning the Wheels – Part Two
Read Part One of Riding the Rails Vs. Manning the Wheels here. I should have stayed home that day, but instead I decided to hop on the 5:46am BART train out of MacArthur in Oakland, arriving in...
View ArticleNo Refills
Maybe if the burgers weren’t medium well instead of medium rare like we had ordered I wouldn’t have minded so much. Perhaps if the fries weren’t slightly soggy and so few in number I would have...
View ArticleSecond Person Saturday Volume 5: February 2, 2013 – You Used to be Funny
Learn more about Second Person Saturday here. You started this blog in the fall of 2010 w/ the purpose of writing funny pieces about your children. You wanted to be irreverent, and take everyday...
View ArticleThe Battle of Plop
My son grabs a peach yogurt out of the fridge. My daughter her preferred strawberry. They each try to open the top to their yogurt, but I stop them before they succeed only in tearing off the tiny...
View ArticleHow to Wipe a Four-Year-Old’s Butt
Find a comfortable place to relax, perhaps lying down on the couch, or sitting in the big comfy chair. If it’s after noon, make sure your Tanqueray is within reach on the end table. If it’s before...
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